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Pittsford Alliance for Substance-Free Youth

The Pittsford Alliance for Substance-Free Youth (formerly School Community Partnership Council) is a group of organizations, individuals, school and town personnel that are dedicated to drug prevention and positive youth development. In the interest of our youth, we strive to provide leadership, bring together and coordinate all potential resources, and be a proactive force in the community creating opportunities to practice and model healthy lifestyles.

Please go to www.pittsfordschools.org/programs.cfm?subpage=99 for more information about this vital community organization.

 

PLAY BALL!
The Neighborhood Softball Tournament will be played this Sunday, September 28 from 1-4 pm at Thornell Farm Park.  Come out and cheer on your favorite neighborhood team. Teams playing are: Charter Oaks, Mccord Woods, Wren Field, Pheasant Hollow, Cricket Hill, Crest Wood, White Briar, Coddington Grove.



UNDERAGE DRINKING TIPLINE
"You know you care..........make the call"
A 24-hour anonymous, confidential Underage Drinking Tipline has recently been created for people living in Genesee, Monroe, Orleans, and Wyoming counties. Call the tipline at 1-800-851-1932 or (585) 343-1932 to report underage drinking parties or other activities that are harmful to the health, safety, and/or welfare of young people. By calling the anonymous tipline, a difference can be made, tragedy diverted and lives saved. Make the call!

 

 

 

 

PREVENTION STRATEGIES FOR PARENTS OF ADOLSECENTS

     Peer pressure is often viewed as a major factor that affects whether or not your teen becomes involved with alcohol and other drug use. Peers can positively or negatively influence other teens, but in reality, it is your teen’s own decision to choose whether or not to take that first step and experiment. As your children enter their teen years, they need you more than ever to guide them toward choosing positive friends and to participate in healthy activities. Here are some tips to help your teen make good choices.

 

Communicate

• Be a good listener. Ask questions—and encourage them to talk. Showing your willingness to listen, without being judgmental, will make your teen feel more comfortable about opening up to you. Don’t lecture.

 

•  Use TV reports, anti-drug commercials, news or school discussions about drugs to help you introduce the subject in a natural, unforced way.

 

• Be absolutely clear with your kids that you don’t want them using drugs. Ever. Don’t leave room for interpretation. And talk often about the dangers and results of alcohol and other drug abuse. Once or twice a year won’t do it.

 

•  If your teen makes statements that challenge or shock you, turn them into a calm discussion of why he or she thinks people use drugs, or whether the effect is worth the risk. Don’t react in a way that will cut off further discussion and don’t echo his or her tone. Stay dispassionate and even-tempered.

 

•  Give honest answers. Don’t make up what you don’t know; offer to find out. If asked whether you’ve ever taken drugs, be honest. But let your teen know what’s important: that you don’t want him or her using drugs even though you may have made mistakes yourself.

 

• Communicate with your spouse (or ex-spouse) regarding your teen’s activities. When families communicate and work together, kids are far less likely to get lost in the shuffle. The only way the “divide and conquer” strategy works is if families let their children get away with it.

 

• Communicate with parents of your teen’s friends. Letting your kids know you talk to each other presents a united front. “Parent power” is stronger than peer influence. Let other parents know that you want them to tell you if your child is involved in risky behavior, and offer to do the same for their child.

 

• Don’t confuse privacy with secrecy. It is not OK for kids to be incommunicado with parents for extended periods. Privacy is OK; secrecy is not.

 

Know the facts

• Find out about alcohol and other drug use, especially local trends. Avoid hearsay or bias. If you have questions, contact the Pittsford Schools Prevention Coordinator or Pittsford Youth Services, or a drug and alcohol counselor. Don’t be naïve in thinking there are no alcohol or other drug problems in Pittsford.

 

Set and maintain rules

• Work together to create clear, fair and reasonable rules, but don’t bargain. You are in charge. Discuss in advance the consequences of breaking the rules you’ve set. Don’t let the rule-breaker off the hook. Your teen may get upset, but don’t be bowled over by the anger. Short-term gain for long-term pain is not a reasonable trade-off.

 

• Do not impose unrealistic punishments that will later be dismissed or forgotten. This kind of inconsistency helps to establish that you are really not in charge. (If you are divorced, try to co-parent with your ex-spouse, no matter how difficult this might be.)

 

• Set weekday and weekend curfews and maintain them.

 

•  Set and enforce a “check-in” policy when your teen is out with friends. Provide a cell phone or a phone card so your teen can call home on a regular basis.

 

• Hold your teen accountable. Don’t excuse irresponsible behavior, make excuses or resolve a problem he or she caused, even though the consequences might be uncomfortable for you or your child.

 

Home alone?

• Try to be home after school. The “danger time” for drug use during the school year is between 4 and 6 p.m., when there’s no one around. If possible, arrange flexible time at work or have your child report to a responsible adult. (The pro-drug code “4:20” hails from this vulnerable time of the day.)

 

•  Think twice about leaving kids home alone. Ever.

 

• If you must go out of town and leave your teen at home, make arrangements for a RESPONSIBLE adult to stay with him or her, or have your child stay with another family with whom you are comfortable and trust.

 

• Be home when your teen is going out. And be awake when he or she comes home so you can say good night (and to also check on his or her condition!).

 

School issues

•  Make it clear that you welcome communication from your teen’s school if his or her teachers or counselor have any concerns. Provide phone numbers and e-mail addresses where you can be reached.

 

• Seriously consider if it is really necessary to allow your high school-age teen to go off-campus for lunch. If you do decide to allow this privilege, talk to your teen about making positive choices, and make it clear that the privilege can be easily and quickly taken away if it is abused.

 

• Also consider how important it is for your teen to drive to and from school. Having access to a car during lunch period certainly expands dining choices, but driving off-campus during lunch can also increase the chance of getting in trouble. And cars are great places to use and store illegal substances.

 

Teach resistance skills

• Role-play with your teen and practice ways to refuse alcohol or other drugs in various scenarios. Acknowledge how tough these moments can be.

 

• Give your teen some “lines” to use to get out of uncomfortable situations, including using you as a reason for not making bad choices. “Yeah, if I did that my parents would kill me,” or “My parents are crazy. They always find out! It’s not worth getting caught.”

 

• If your child baby-sits, make it clear to him or her that if the child’s parent(s) come home and seem drunk, your child should call you for a ride home—there is no obligation to get in a car with the parent (or anyone) under the influence.

 

Be a role model

• Be a living, day-to-day example of your value system. Show the compassion, honesty, generosity and openness you want your child to have.

 

• It is NOT OK to drink or use drugs with your teen, or to allow your teen and his or her friends to drink or use drugs in your home. Taking your teen’s friends’ keys away so they can’t drive home drunk after drinking at your house sends a mixed (and wrong) message. They should not be drinking in your home in the first place. You can be held liable after they have left your home if there is an accident.

 

•  Examine your own use of alcohol, tobacco, and even over-the-counter drugs. Telling your kids they can have fun without alcohol or other drugs while they see you always socializing with your friends with a cocktail or cigar in hand sends a mixed message.

 

•  If you have a liquor cabinet in your home or store beer in your garage, monitor the supply very carefully.

 

• Make sure other family members and adult friends who are close to your teen have the same values as you do when it comes to alcohol and other drug use.

 

Parties and social events

•  If your child has been invited to a party, call the host’s parents ahead of time to make sure there will be ACTIVE adult supervision for the entire party and that alcohol will not be available. On the night of the party, make it a point to stop in and say hello when you drop off your teen.

 

•  Make it easy to leave a party if alcohol or other drugs are being used. Discuss in advance how you or another designated adult will come to pick up your teen as soon as he or she feels uncomfortable. Agree on a code phrase your teen can use to indicate he or she wants to be picked up. Later, be prepared to talk about what happened.

 

Celebrate your child

• Celebrate and respect your teen’s individuality and uniqueness. Respect that he or she may have different interests or goals than yours. Be supportive of your teen’s choice of activities if they are healthy and positive, even if they do not fit your vision of what you want him or her to do.

 

• Expressions of appreciation and thanks go a long way toward building self-esteem.

 

• Accentuate the positive. Emphasize the things your teen does right. Restrain the urge to be critical. Affection and respect will reinforce good (and change bad) behavior far more successfully than yelling at or embarrassing your child.

 

• Tell your teen you love him or her. A lot. And often.

 

Your teen’s friends

•  Do you approve of your teen’s friends? Friends at this age can be extremely influential. Don’t be afraid to question your teen about his or her friends. If you feel uncomfortable about them, let your teen know, and consider curtailing their activities together.

 

• Invite your teen’s friends to your home on a regular basis. Get to know them. Offer frequently to drive them where they want to go.

 

•  If your child is visiting a friend’s house, make sure there will be adequate and continuous adult supervision. Some parents say they will be home but may leave to run errands, or they may stay in another part of the house and may not be aware of their teen’s activities. Don’t be afraid to make a surprise visit or call their home if you have doubts.

 

•  Pre-determined departure and return times should be in place. Spur-of-the-moment sleepovers or last minute excuses for altering these times can be reason for suspicion.

 

Sleepovers

• Think about whether sleepovers are really necessary. Offer to drive your teen’s friends home at the curfew time you’ve established. If your teen and his or her friends have a sleepover at your house, and you are asleep, you can’t supervise their activities.

 

• If your teen has been invited to a sleepover at a friend’s house, check to make sure they are where they say they’ll be. The old “bait and switch” technique of telling each set of parents that they will be at the other’s house has worked more than once to hide plans to go to an unsupervised party or to participate in another risky activity.

 

Be there

• Make time for your teen. Pay attention to him or her. Find things to do together. Listen to your teen. Ordinary day-to-day activities, when done together, provide opportunities to keep lines of communication open.

 

• Eat together as often as you can. Meals are a great opportunity to talk about the day’s events, unwind, reinforce, and bond. Studies show that kids whose families eat together at least five times a week are less likely to be involved with substance abuse.

 

Teach your kids to make the right choices

• Encourage independent thinking and individualism. Let your teen know that it is OK to make his or her own decisions and not to feel pressure to “follow the crowd.” Reinforce values you taught your teen when he or she was younger.

 

Keep your kids involved

• While it is not a good idea to “over book” your teen, he or she should be involved in some positive activities. Volunteering, school clubs, faith community-based activities, scouts, individual or team sports/athletics, playing an instrument or being involved in the arts are just a few of many healthy things that are available for our teens to do.

 

Be aware

•  Trust your child, but always keep your eyes and ears open. Listen to your instincts. Don’t be afraid to intervene if your gut reaction tells you that something is wrong. Please refer to the Intervention section of this guide for more information.

 

• Don’t assume that your child won’t be exposed to alcohol or other drugs or won’t be tempted to get involved. It’s everywhere. It’s been said that in Pittsford the problem is even worse than in city schools, because our kids have the means to obtain alcohol and other drugs easily. And the dealers know it. But you can be a powerful and positive influence in your teen’s life. Help your child make the right choices.

  

Information taken from the following sources:

www.theantidrug.com

Mark A. Head, LCSW-R, CASAC;

Rush Henrietta School District Prevention Coordinator

 

GIVING PARTIES/ATTENDING PARTIES
If your teen is thinking about giving a party, make it absolutely clear that no parties are allowed unless you or another responsible adult will be home. Period. If you are going to be out of town and are concerned that your teen may plan a party in your absence, make solid arrangements for him or her to either stay with another family or have a responsible adult stay in your home. Make your teen understand the dangers of attending unsupervised parties in friends’ homes. Take time to discuss acceptable guidelines for hosting and/or attending parties with your teen.

If your teen is giving a party:
· Plan in advance. Establish a guest list to avoid an “open party” situation. Small, closed parties should be encouraged. The host should know everyone; no strangers are allowed.
· Set definite starting and ending times. Plan an activity such as swimming, skating, or a movie.
· Agree to the rules ahead of time. No smoking. No alcohol or other drugs. No leaving and then returning. No crashers allowed. Lights will be left on. Some rooms will be off- limits.
· Know your responsibilities! Be visible and aware. Larger parties need more adults. Your premises/property should be monitored frequently by the adults in charge. You are legally responsible for anything that may happen to a minor who has been served alcohol or other drugs in your home.
· Invite another parent or couple for company. Invite parents to come in and get acquainted when they drop their child off at your home.

If your teen attends a party:
· By checking your school’s student telephone directory, you will be able to determine if the parents hosting the party have committed to the Safe Homes pledge.
· Also call ahead and confirm that there will be active parental supervision for the duration of the party, and that no alcohol will be served. Offer to help chaperone or bring food. 
· Make sure you have the telephone number and address of the party’s location and have your teenager contact you if anything changes.
· Go to the door and introduce yourself when you drop your child off, or just check in if it is a family you already know.
· Make it easy for your teen to safely leave a party. Agree that he or she can call you or another adult to provide a ride home if there is any reason why staying would be uncomfortable. Have a code phrase for your teen to use so you can come and pick up him or her.
· Give your children information they need to do the right thing, such as how to refuse alcohol or a ride with an intoxicated driver.
· Make it a habit to stay up and wait for your teen to arrive home. A brief conversation, and a hug or kiss will convey that you’re glad he or she is home safely. Set an alarm clock to go off at curfew so you’re awake.
· Establish limits and stick to them! Trust your decisions and don’t apologize for them.

Information taken from The Monroe County Youth Bureau, Parents Do Care, SCPC


 



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